Endless Giving = Love?

by Thomas Sim, 12 Aug, 2001

There is a Chinese saying "Giving is better than receiving".

One of the many reasons that great people became that great is the philosophy of giving. Like the late Mother Theresa, Jesus Christ and many freedom fighters. But, the question is: Do we truly feel happier by giving and not receiving?

In simple terms, do you feel happy when you always give to your boss? Or when you always do people favours? Or what you do is based on the WIIIFM element - your salary? Can you contribute without WIIIFM? Can you face the real you inside? Is endless giving equals to LOVE?

This scenario is always true: Bosses are always right! Many a time we wonder why human being is such a corrupted animal? Have you ever think about this seriously? If you are the boss, do you think that is right?There is once a Chinese philosophy by Lao Tze: "We are born evil" or "We are born pure". This corresponds to the famous motivational theory of Douglas McGregor: Theory X or Y. The similarity of these two theories are between human are by nature nice and obedient, or that human are by nature bad and need to be coerced.

I tend to believe the latter. Being a salesman, or more pessimistic, I believe human are crudely defensive. This is an instinct - for protection and security. Remember? It is the second level of needs in Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs! Security in life extends to more than physical means nowadays than those of caveman and cavewomen. Do you see the ability to endlessly contribute when you are still at the stage of searching for your own security?

Of course, that is the extreme. On the other hand, if it is our love ones, we would sacrifice foranything. This is another extreme. Therefore, the question is not unable to, but don't want to. The reality is that we are weak, and succumb to the human nature ownselfness - it simple word, some sort of selfishness.

There are two extremes of behaviour with regards to giving as we see above. This is what is said by ancient chinese philosopher as well as modern management trainer in the west. It is what you choose to be that is more important, and that is the courage to face yourself. The answer to endlessly giving is not important, it is who you are that is more important and urgent!

If you ask me: Is endless giving a perfection of human race? I think the answer is Yes! For there will be less (but not no) war, famine and murder.

But, can you stand endless giving and not receiving?

Who is the first person to start?